Our heroine and rumored creator of RARITY 9, the most powerful developer's tool of all-time. After the RARITY 9 beta was stolen by Captain Bran, Zaku vowed to recover it at all costs. If she fails, Bran's horrible videogames will flood the market, causing widespread boredom.

Zaku's arsenal includes such technical gadgetry as rocket shoes and power gloves.

The Penguin Bros. - Dip, Bip, Flip and Emp - are the leaders of Captain Bran's problem distribution team. Bran has given them each a backup copy of the stolen RARITY 9 program for questionably safe keeping. To protect it from danger, the brothers put their collective talents to use : Dip enjoys excessively complex machinery, Bip prefers to smash things, Flip likes playing tricks, and Emp is rather sickeningly obsessed with blowing things up.

Though not the most brilliant boys in the world, the Penguin Bros. serve their their master with a fierce (if not fully understood) determination. This makes them a considerably dangerous group.

President of Bran Systems Ltd. (best games and lawsuits this side of the arctic circle!), Captain Bran stole the beta version of RARITY 9 for his own sinister uses. A generally nasty guy and overall sour pickle, Bran despises the world and vows to drive it into certain peril in the most ridiculous way possible : by flooding the videogame market with copy after copy of the most hideous entertainment software products ever created.

Enjoys spending his afternooons leisurely taking candy from babies and launching ready-made sandwiches into deep space.

Got stuck in a bathtub once.

Though she was once Zaku's mentor, not much is known about this mysterious girl except that she appears to be assisting Captain Bran with his nefarious ambitions.

Skilled in the art of punch-things-in-the-head style, she's a force to be reckoned with, especially while standing or floating in one of her overly dramatic poses.

Can snort an entire "Pixy Stix" without flinching.